Hang In There, Beanie Boy!

I kept part of my promise. I recorded the new episode of excuse me, ghidorah. However, I am using the iLife 06 suite for the first time and cannot for the life of me understand how you are supposed to submit your cast to iTunes. There are a couple of spots to enter info, but thin pickings compared to what I am used to in Feeder. Still, the whole darned thing is supposed to be integrated... I guess I'll swing over to Feeder again, which is a great program anyhow.

Anybody got any pointers about iLife 06 -- specifically publishing your podcast out of Garage Band and straight to iTunes?

Make This And Every Day A "Monster Squad" Day!

Ah! A fresh new morning -- and a slight cheerful afterglow in my brain from watching "Monster Squad" with Nick last night. The 2 disk, 20th anniversary dvd set came out this past week. I feel like I've been waiting for it for decades. The extras are very cool, including extended talks with Fred Dekker (director), who has had a hard time getting his career back in gear after "Monster Squad"'s initial poor showings at the box office, followed (unfortunately) by "Robocop 3", which also didn't do so well. But he seems genuinely encouraged by the "Monster Squad" fans who are pouring in from all corners of the planet.

The film has an edge to it that I never noticed until watching it with kids. Wasn't appropriate for Holly (age 3) -- too intense overall, except she was really getting into the monsters and pretending to hide under her blankie. Too scary for Sarah (age 6). Pretty much just right for Nicholas (age 10) -- except for the peculiar cussing in some spots. It's not that the curse words don't work -- they're pretty funny in a "Goonies" sort of way and fairly realistic in a "Christmas Story" sort of way -- but they really push the envelope a couple of times and you wonder who the movie is for. Kids? Teens? Adults? All three? As I say, I didn't notice this until I had to get in the habit of sectioning off films into "Ok for the kids" and "not OK". Ultimately, I guess the movie is for Fred Dekker. But they had trouble marketing the film, because parents were scared to take their kids to see it and teenagers thought it was too kiddie-oriented.

Anyhow, it's a hoot. Stan Winston's team did a magnificent job of recreating the Universal Studios monsters without actually recreating the Universal Studios monsters (avoiding trademark infringement, etc.). The script was shopped over to Universal first, but, true to form, they turned it down. As Universal Studios theme park attests, these guys have no idea of the untapped treasures in their film vault. Once, while visiting the Universal Studios theme park, I hurried across the park to catch a stage show featuring the classic monsters. No idea what to expect. A series of creepy vignettes featuring sizzling mad scientist lab equipment, shadowy castle interiors, the Black Forest? A tribute to Karloff, Lugosi, Chaney, Pierce, Browning, Whale, Strickfadden and other luminaries? Who knew? Then, over the loudspeaker, a radio-style voice shouted, "Ladies and gentlemen! Universal Studios theme park has TRANSFUNKIFIED the Universal Studios monsters!" The Bride of Frankenstein proceeded to belt out "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman" while the Wolfman breakdanced (!) and Frankenstein eventually did an electric guitar solo. I was scandalized. The folks at Universal might just as well have hiked up their collective leg and pissed on a statue of Maria Ouspenskaya. Same difference. (Years later, the memory of TRANSFUNKIFICATION having abated slightly, I gave Universal Studios theme park another chance. This visit was, after all, during their Halloween celebration. How could they screw that up? Then, during their Halloween parade, a "Labyrinth" style Satan came rolling past on his throne. Dozens of parade watchers began to bow at the waist with their hands outstretched, while nubile satan-nymphs tossed Mardi Gras crap into the crowd. I yelled at the float, "Go to hell!" Just another day at Universal Studios theme park.)



Anyhow, back to "Monster Squad". Not that crazy about the actor who plays Dracula, but he's OK. The rest are marvelous. The fellow who plays the werewolf out-Chaneys Chaney in his regretful human state. The Creature from the Black Lagoon is marvelous. And the guy who plays the Mummy must weigh about fifty pounds soaking wet. Frankie is the highlight of the film. As I said back in Wonder magazine, it's as though a kid fell asleep while staring at his collection of Aurora monster models and had a "monster adventure" dream. The monsters often posture model-kit style; they seem aware of their icon status in a goofy sort of way.

The kids are uniformly great. And little Phoebe is a cool grown-up now, judging by the extras.

Well worth the outlay of about $16.

I'm afraid Kim Paffenroth has gotten me interested in zombie epics. Have any of you guys dared to venture forth into the world of direct-to-dvd zombie films? Nicholas, Holly, my brother, Chris, (he's doing better) and I went to MovieStop last night and there were several such films in the horror section. One somehow managed to claim it was a prequel to "Day of the Dead" (!) -- the title was "Day of the Dead: Contagion". Anybody seen it? Another was simply called "The Mad" and had Billy Zane fighting zombies. Then there was "Dead and Deader" which purported to be a "zomedy". Anyone able to offer a thumbs-up or -down?

"Dead Meat" I've seen and can actually recommend -- it hails from Ireland and is overall a fine entry in the zombie apocalypse genre (although it seems a tad pointless in the end). "The Stink of Flesh" is simply perverse -- though remarkably well made for a film budgeted at around $4,000. (I know, I know -- why was I watching a film called "The Stink of Flesh" in the first place?) And "Undead" is also pretty darned good. Hailing from Australia, "Undead" is one of those indie horror films that shoots for the moon despite its low budget. Like "Equinox", it just doesn't seem to shrink from any crazy notion that popped into the filmmakers' heads, regardless of technical difficulty. "Dead and Breakfast" (instead of Bed and Breakfast - get it?) was something of a letdown. But, hey, it wasn't as perverse as "The Stink of Flesh"!

Ah, Monster Squad... Thank goodness for Monster Squad.

Lint

P.S. I promise to get a new podcast up this very weekend. Let's see now... It's Saturday, 9:04 AM... That gives me... Um... At least a couple of hours...

Cornerstone Recovery Period (revised)

Well, I'm back from the razzle dazzle, contemplative meandering and goofy conversations that are, collectively, the Cornerstone Festival. As usual, I didn't listen to any of the bands.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Coming up with zombie jokes on a very tight deadline. Dave Canfield shows up at the Speakers Hospitality Trailer about thirty minutes before he has to perform as The Undead Comic and says, "Zombie jokes! I need zombie jokes!" My contribution: Why did the zombie dog cross the road? Answer: Brains! (You then proceed to ask other very familiar jokes with zombies clumsily inserted. The punchline is always "Brains!")

Hearing that a very smart little girl has read The Magic Eightball Test: A Christian Defense of Halloween and All Things Spooky about thirty times and uses it to defend her love of Harry Potter books.

Paul Leggett explaining how horror lit was censored during the Fifties to such a degree that The Hound of the Baskervilles went out of print. Sherlock Holmes? Out of print? Back then, Paul was a kid who spent several years asking "Do you by chance have The Hound of the Baskervilles?" in every bookstore he could find. Now he has a collection of Hound of the Baskervilles editions from various countries. In your face, Fifties!

Mike Hertenstein's wistful observations regarding the conflict between "no place like home" and "over the rainbow" / "the real world" and "Shangri-La" / "Pottersville" and "Bedford Falls". I missed the second session. From what I hear Mike was working in his theories about Apollo and Dionysus, but wasn't finished theorizing yet. I am hoping he will keep at it. History has taught me to steer clear of the Dionysian, but Mike may bring me around.

Having the annual conversation about how we need to collect these Imaginarium seminars in a book so they don't go to waste. Let's do this thang!

John Morehead's "damn the torpedoes" approach to his seminar on contextualization, syncretism and missiology. John has moved from a Kingdom of the Cults approach -- "You're a cult member! Now hold still while I tell you all about it." -- to a Neighboring Faiths approach -- "You like french fries. I like french fries. Come, let us reason together you and I." Contextualization is simply working out the most effective context for communication, given that you are bringing the Gospel to a different culture. This involves learning indigenous customs, manners, symbols, etc. not merely to "spin" the Gospel in the guise of that culture, but to draw upon truths in that culture which correspond to truths in Christian theology. A genuine conversation with the culture, not camouflage. St. Paul's Mars Hill encounter with Greek philosophers is, of course, a perfect example.

Asking around to see if mass was held on-site and finding that, though everyone was sure there was one, nobody had any idea where or when. So I ended up rushing from my session at 4pm Saturday to get to the Transportation Tent, hopping a van, convincing the driver to take me into Macomb, going to 5:15 pm mass, then walking back to the hotel. Worn out, I missed saying goodbye to everyone, as well as the Imaginarium showing of Robot Monster. Boo freakin' hoo! If they ask me back again next year, I really have to get the logistics worked out ahead of time. Saw a family of raccoons though.

Eating vegetarian food. Very yummy. I never would have believed it.

Kim Paffenroth's seminars on All Things Zombie. Kim is coming at this as a recent convert to horror movie fandom. He was an academic before he became a fan. And so far his exploration of monstermovieness has focused on zombie fliks. Which makes for a lot of very interesting insights, such as comparing Romero's films to different "bolgias" of Dante's inferno. I am in the process of reading his book on the subject, Gospel of the Living Dead: George Romero's Visions of Hell on Earth. And Mr. Paffenroth's zombie apocalypse novel--ambitious fellow, ain't he?--is coming up next. Or maybe I'll switch and read the novel first. Anyhow, the novel is titled Dying to Live. Also, apparently the popularity of zombies has not abated. Kim's sessions were packed wall to wall, shambling room only.

Dealing with piddly turn-out for Imaginarium sessions not related to zombies. I think we need to advertise around the festival grounds with little postcards or posters or something. Or somehow connect every seminar with zombies. "Six degrees of separation from zombie Kevin Bacon." That sort of thing.

Telling people what my seminar was about. People ask "What are you speaking on?" And I answer "Kitsch." And they stare at me. More staring. I can read their minds. They are thinking "Has he got a fur ball stuck in his throat?" I repeat "Kitsch!" They think "He definitely has a fur ball caught in his throat."

Seeing a little of what goes on in the Flickerings zone of the festival. Got to watch most of a movie called Train_man: Densha Otoko. A comedy about geek love in Japan. Highly recommended.

The Atlanta airport wanting 8 bucks to let you on their wi-fi! 8 bucks!

Feeling sad that my family wasn't there! The kids really enjoy Dave's S.T.A.K.E. meetings (Society for the Termination of All Kinds of Evil -- I think). I really enjoy the kids. Plus, it's fun when Susan hangs out in the Speaker Hospitality Trailer.

Scratching my head in amazement during the Imaginarium Talent Show. We had yo-y0 tricks, a real live opera singer dude, Dave as The Undead Comic ("Brains!"), more yo-yo tricks, a guy doing an At the Dentist's Office routine from a Bill Cosby album, a girl reciting funny lines from real live people at her real live job at Fazoli's ("Like, you know that movie where that woman gets possessed when she wakes up at exactly 3 o'clock at night? You guys! I woke up at 3 o'clock last night! Do you think I'm possessed? I mean, like, maybe the demons are taking their time!"), more yo-yo tricks, and a fellow who sang the entirety of "Bohemian Rhapsody" with mucho audience participation. And some yo-yo tricks.

Reciting I Corinthians 1:27 in my Bela Lugosi voice during my seminar. (Starts slow -- "God-duh chowse de foooolish tings ov dee verld"-- then builds to a spittle producing teeth gnashing rendition of "and de DESPISED tings!")

I'll be recording the sessions as ghidorah podcasts. So stay tuned!

Kitsch!