NEW EPISODE - Kitsch Part Deux

Movies that are "so bad they're good" make their appearance on excuse me, ghidorah via part 2 of our kitsch survey. Fans of Grade Z horror, various exploitation films, plain old psychotronic, and whatever category Hillbillies in a Haunted House falls into will be pleased, I think, especially if they are Christians who have wondered why they love such unlovable films and why they harbor such a warm regard for film giants like Tor Johnson (a gen-yoo-wine film giant, if there ever was one).

There is, after all, a certain feeling which may be expressed as "What happens to me if the Lord returns and finds me sitting here watching Werewolf in a Girls' Dormitory ?" There would appear to be no good reason to grant two hours of precious life to such a film. But then, why the delight? Why the sheer joy of discovery? Why the tender hearted fannish devotion to cult film stars? Hmmmm... Maybe I should run my mouth about this for about an hour and then upload it to iTunes so that others may listen to my ravings! And, in fact, I did just that.

I am hard at work on a new website which will act as an umbrella for various of my little projects including excuse me, ghidorah. It has been difficult to find whatever niche market exists for my book, The Magic Eightball Test: A Christian Defense of Halloween and All Things Spooky, and this new website will, I hope, do the trick. I can't help believing there are thousands of people out there in the fundamentalist and/or evangelical subculture who are inundated with anti-Halloween theologizing, who feel that somehow dumping Halloween and Autumn is tantamount to dumping part of their soul, and who, therefore, go either one way or the other. Either they stick with their particular fortress mentality form of Christianity -- because they love the Lord -- and trash all their pop-cultural pursuits as "the devil's bidness" or they stick with the symbols that speak to them -- because they want to cling to what rings true whether they understand it or not -- and turn their back on churchianity.

Now, how many books do you know which would help somebody out in such a situation? Brother, there ain't any! Except for my own little ink and paper attempt to point out the fallacies of the fundamentalist/evangelical cultural mindset while, at the same time, totally affirming orthodox, historic, supernatural Christianity. It doesn't have to be "God or Godzilla". Brother, it can be "God and Godzilla"! In fact, our pop-cultural symbols speak to us because they bring the moral imagination to life -- and the moral imagination enriches our sense of what is at stake as powers and principalities duke it out in our lives. "God and Godzilla" is simply better, because faith enriched by imagination is better.

If you see what I mean.

So, anyhow, the new website is ChristianHalloweenFan.com. It will be up sometime around the first of October.

Of course, my book is always available at Amazon and other fine internet booksellers. Though I recommend purchasing it directly from lulu.com -- it gets printed by a different printing company in that case and I think the quality is better.

Lastly, I do apologize for a faint hissing which pops in and out during the podcast. I am experimenting with my microphone. I will endeavor to correct that problem and upload a revamped version of the same podcast. But don't let that keep you from listening to it ASAP. It's not that noticeable. Right click or control click the title to this post (above) to download the podcast or head over to iTunes which should be updated to include this addition pretty soon.

Defending Harry

Some friends of mine and I were commenting on a Harry Potter related article by Fr. Alfonso Aguilar (over at the National Catholic Register), so I thought I would post those same comments here -- by way of adding my two cents. If you want to read Fr. Aguilar's take on Rowling's series, take a whack at this link. If you are fascinated by Ben Caldwell's cartoon of Ginny, Colin Creevy, Oliver Wood and Lupin visit Caldwell's awesome site. As for my two cents, here you go:

I appreciate the levelheaded approach Fr. Aguilar has attempted. I especially appreciate his actually having read each and every book in the series! However, his logic falls apart when he insists the series is essentially pantheistic and that Harry's progress as a wizarding student depends on his grasp on some inner illumination -- so that one finds a sort of gnosticism behind the magic.

For example, Fr. Aguilar writes:

"Consider now the concept of man implicit in J.K. Rowling’s narrative. Humans, called 'muggles,' are divided into three categories: ordinary 'muggles' with no magical power who disdain the magic world (the despicable Dursley family); 'muggles' who fancy the magic world but cannot reach it (Hermione Granger’s parents); and the witches and wizards.

"The ideal is, no doubt, to become a good witch or wizard. What’s the way? Train yourself to look into yourself to find the magical powers within you.

"Good training requires masters who help make you aware of the magical ('divine') forces in your spirit. These are the professors at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Albus Dumbledore, the school headmaster, is the main spiritual guide."

That's just silly. The magical forces in question are not presented as in some sense "divine" and Albus Dumbledore is hardly a spiritual guide. He helps Harry to deal with moral challenges, true. But so far as knowledge of magic is concerned, his assistance is actually rather minimal. As for the other instructors at Hogwarts, they seem to provide the same matter-of-fact prosaic recitation of facts that one might find in a muggle classroom during Social Studies. My point is: magic is interesting, exciting, and fun in the Potter books. It is also hilariously mundane. Hermione is not a superior student because she has a greater intuitive grasp of some mystical inner light. She's a better student because she actually reads the textbooks! She pursues subjects beyond the bare minimum reading requirements. She would rather read "Hogwarts: A History" than watch Quidditch.

As in the real world, Hermoine's intelligence is shown in her ability to integrate this knowledge, to make connections between the various subjects. The pattern here is that of a liberal education, not an initiation into some mystical path thru the self. In fact, that's one of the jokes built into the series -- that something like magic, which one might assume would be crammed to the gills with mysticism, is no different from Geography or Social Studies. That's why it's funny when Ron and Harry cram for a test or when Professor Trelawny tries to force matters into a floridly mystical mold.

I can imagine the sort of look you might get if you told Professor McGonnigle she was a "spiritual guide"!

Of course, there are such things as intuition, passion and emotion. Hermione is surpassed by Harry at times when these factors come into play. Hermione, for example, has trouble casting a compelling patronus spell. Harry possesses a better integration of head and heart. But that is hardly Gnosticism.

I think that while Fr. Aguilar veers off-course a comment made by my wife, Susan, begins to look all the more on target: one is either born a wizard or not and this very basic ingredient in the series removes the element of esotericism one might normally associate with magic. Fr. Aguilar makes it sound as though anyone can be a wizard if they are shown how to tap into their inner light. This simply is not true. Lily's sister, Petunia, simply cannot be a wizard no matter how much she might wish it. That's part of her bitterness toward Harry. Likewise, Crabbe and Goyle ARE wizards - and it ain't due to their sensitivity to inner illumination or to hidden knowledge attained thru arcane, mysterious rites. We're talking Crabbe and Goyle here, people.

The wizarding world is hidden, but for practical reasons: witch hunts and heresy trials and the sort of tragedy that befell Dumbledore's sister.

Also, Fr. Aguilar says this:

"In Potter’s world, the divine is, in my opinion, pantheistic. The only transcendent reality that exists is (white) magic. A fictional story, of course, does not have to present the Christian truths nor the Christian God. The question is whether or not there is room for a Christian God in the story. In Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, God does not show up, yet he may fit in the background as the one who gave Gandalf certain powers and a new life. Gandalf did not get them by himself.

"Not so with Harry Potter.

"Once the magic reigns as the ultimate level of reality, a personal God cannot fit in. Magical powers form the highest aspiration."

That is simply ridiculous. The existence of an afterlife is very plain in the Potter books. That is (quite literally) a trancendent reality and it pertains to muggles and wizards alike. Magic is not "the ultimate level of reality". Voldemort's ultimate condition makes it very clear that magic is subordinate to something far greater.

In fact, magic is in no way presented as a kind of transcendent reality or even as a "summum bonum". For wizards, magic is simply a part of mundane reality on a par with muggles and technology. Magical powers do not "form the highest aspiration" -- people don't "aspire" toward magical powers in the Potter books. You've either got it or you don't. And even if it were possible for a character to "aspire" in such a way -- does this mean one cannot desire magic powers and simultaneously desire the beatific vision? Both hopes could exist in a story without cancelling each other out. At any rate, the existence of magic in the Potter series does not supercede or rule out the existence of a personal God. That doesn't even make sense. This guy teaches philosophy?

Granted, character details which might provide a glimpse into, say, Hermione's faith would be nice -- Hermione saying her prayers, Hermione lugging a "Strong's Exhaustive Concordance" around along with that copy of "Hogwarts: A History", Hermione giving Ron and Harry a stern reprimand with quotes from her Extreme Teen Challenge Bible, Hermione leaving Keith Green tracts in the Gryffindor common room. But I don't find myself disappointed with the Three Investigators mysteries because we never see Jupiter Jones take on the role of C.S. Lewis style apologist or impatient with Nancy Drew because she doesn't seem to have a Quiet Time.

Luv Offerin'

Ah, well. We all find ourselves in financial difficulty from time to time, scrambling for possible resources. I am involved right now in such a scramble (listen closely and you can actually hear the scrambling...) and it occurred to me that some people might have enjoyed these podcasts enough to donate something to the cause. This is especially possible since research has revealed a strange coincidence: fully 80% of Ghidorah listeners are self-made billionaires for whom a $10,000 donation is a mere dollop, smidgen, tad or scintilla. The other 20% will just have to limit themselves to tens and twenties.

Seriously, though, if Ghidorah has proved helpful, has saved your life and the lives of others, has put you on the road to recovery, has delivered you from the power of darkness, has offered a glimmer of hope in an otherwise downbeat day, has been slightly more interesting than the average episode of "Green Acres", has set your toes to tappin', has been the wind beneath your wings, has sent you screaming into the night (or the mid afternoon - I'm not picky), then would you consider tossing a coin in yonder fountain? There's a brand new donation button to the right of this post. Or you can use our handy built in button below. Unless they don't work. In which case, would somebody please let me know?

Thanks,

Lint

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_xclick&business=borderlinevoodoo%40yahoo%2ecom&item_name=Gifts%20for%20Ghidorah%20%28sniff%29&no_shipping=1&cn=Thanks%21%20Any%20Comments%20to%20Share%3f&tax=0¤cy_code=USD&lc=US&bn=PP%2dDonationsBF&charset=UTF%2d8

New Episode Assemble!

Well, it downloads when I behave as though I am a first time subscriber to the podcast via iTunes. It hasn't officially shown up in the iTunes store listing for excuse me, ghidorah. So... um... the new episode is... um... up?

Try right clicking or control clicking on the title above and you should get it regardless. I'll keep tinkering. I feel like Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back, trying to get the hyperdrive to kick in, but it keeps whirring and sputtering like the Beverly Hillbillies' truck. "It's not my fault! It's not my fault!"

Don't forget -- Halloween is just around the corner. Time to place your orders for that fascinating book, The Magic Eightball Test: A Christian Defense of Halloween and All Things Spooky. This year, give the gift of oddness! Available on amazon.com and other fine bookstores on the worldwide web.

The art above is by Samuel Hiti, author and illustrator of Tiempos Finales, also known as End Times. He is an absolutely fantastic comic book artist. Check out his website at samhiti.com and be sure to click on some of the assorted drawings for a closer look.

Lint

Hang In There, Beanie Boy!

I kept part of my promise. I recorded the new episode of excuse me, ghidorah. However, I am using the iLife 06 suite for the first time and cannot for the life of me understand how you are supposed to submit your cast to iTunes. There are a couple of spots to enter info, but thin pickings compared to what I am used to in Feeder. Still, the whole darned thing is supposed to be integrated... I guess I'll swing over to Feeder again, which is a great program anyhow.

Anybody got any pointers about iLife 06 -- specifically publishing your podcast out of Garage Band and straight to iTunes?

Make This And Every Day A "Monster Squad" Day!

Ah! A fresh new morning -- and a slight cheerful afterglow in my brain from watching "Monster Squad" with Nick last night. The 2 disk, 20th anniversary dvd set came out this past week. I feel like I've been waiting for it for decades. The extras are very cool, including extended talks with Fred Dekker (director), who has had a hard time getting his career back in gear after "Monster Squad"'s initial poor showings at the box office, followed (unfortunately) by "Robocop 3", which also didn't do so well. But he seems genuinely encouraged by the "Monster Squad" fans who are pouring in from all corners of the planet.

The film has an edge to it that I never noticed until watching it with kids. Wasn't appropriate for Holly (age 3) -- too intense overall, except she was really getting into the monsters and pretending to hide under her blankie. Too scary for Sarah (age 6). Pretty much just right for Nicholas (age 10) -- except for the peculiar cussing in some spots. It's not that the curse words don't work -- they're pretty funny in a "Goonies" sort of way and fairly realistic in a "Christmas Story" sort of way -- but they really push the envelope a couple of times and you wonder who the movie is for. Kids? Teens? Adults? All three? As I say, I didn't notice this until I had to get in the habit of sectioning off films into "Ok for the kids" and "not OK". Ultimately, I guess the movie is for Fred Dekker. But they had trouble marketing the film, because parents were scared to take their kids to see it and teenagers thought it was too kiddie-oriented.

Anyhow, it's a hoot. Stan Winston's team did a magnificent job of recreating the Universal Studios monsters without actually recreating the Universal Studios monsters (avoiding trademark infringement, etc.). The script was shopped over to Universal first, but, true to form, they turned it down. As Universal Studios theme park attests, these guys have no idea of the untapped treasures in their film vault. Once, while visiting the Universal Studios theme park, I hurried across the park to catch a stage show featuring the classic monsters. No idea what to expect. A series of creepy vignettes featuring sizzling mad scientist lab equipment, shadowy castle interiors, the Black Forest? A tribute to Karloff, Lugosi, Chaney, Pierce, Browning, Whale, Strickfadden and other luminaries? Who knew? Then, over the loudspeaker, a radio-style voice shouted, "Ladies and gentlemen! Universal Studios theme park has TRANSFUNKIFIED the Universal Studios monsters!" The Bride of Frankenstein proceeded to belt out "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman" while the Wolfman breakdanced (!) and Frankenstein eventually did an electric guitar solo. I was scandalized. The folks at Universal might just as well have hiked up their collective leg and pissed on a statue of Maria Ouspenskaya. Same difference. (Years later, the memory of TRANSFUNKIFICATION having abated slightly, I gave Universal Studios theme park another chance. This visit was, after all, during their Halloween celebration. How could they screw that up? Then, during their Halloween parade, a "Labyrinth" style Satan came rolling past on his throne. Dozens of parade watchers began to bow at the waist with their hands outstretched, while nubile satan-nymphs tossed Mardi Gras crap into the crowd. I yelled at the float, "Go to hell!" Just another day at Universal Studios theme park.)



Anyhow, back to "Monster Squad". Not that crazy about the actor who plays Dracula, but he's OK. The rest are marvelous. The fellow who plays the werewolf out-Chaneys Chaney in his regretful human state. The Creature from the Black Lagoon is marvelous. And the guy who plays the Mummy must weigh about fifty pounds soaking wet. Frankie is the highlight of the film. As I said back in Wonder magazine, it's as though a kid fell asleep while staring at his collection of Aurora monster models and had a "monster adventure" dream. The monsters often posture model-kit style; they seem aware of their icon status in a goofy sort of way.

The kids are uniformly great. And little Phoebe is a cool grown-up now, judging by the extras.

Well worth the outlay of about $16.

I'm afraid Kim Paffenroth has gotten me interested in zombie epics. Have any of you guys dared to venture forth into the world of direct-to-dvd zombie films? Nicholas, Holly, my brother, Chris, (he's doing better) and I went to MovieStop last night and there were several such films in the horror section. One somehow managed to claim it was a prequel to "Day of the Dead" (!) -- the title was "Day of the Dead: Contagion". Anybody seen it? Another was simply called "The Mad" and had Billy Zane fighting zombies. Then there was "Dead and Deader" which purported to be a "zomedy". Anyone able to offer a thumbs-up or -down?

"Dead Meat" I've seen and can actually recommend -- it hails from Ireland and is overall a fine entry in the zombie apocalypse genre (although it seems a tad pointless in the end). "The Stink of Flesh" is simply perverse -- though remarkably well made for a film budgeted at around $4,000. (I know, I know -- why was I watching a film called "The Stink of Flesh" in the first place?) And "Undead" is also pretty darned good. Hailing from Australia, "Undead" is one of those indie horror films that shoots for the moon despite its low budget. Like "Equinox", it just doesn't seem to shrink from any crazy notion that popped into the filmmakers' heads, regardless of technical difficulty. "Dead and Breakfast" (instead of Bed and Breakfast - get it?) was something of a letdown. But, hey, it wasn't as perverse as "The Stink of Flesh"!

Ah, Monster Squad... Thank goodness for Monster Squad.

Lint

P.S. I promise to get a new podcast up this very weekend. Let's see now... It's Saturday, 9:04 AM... That gives me... Um... At least a couple of hours...

Cornerstone Recovery Period (revised)

Well, I'm back from the razzle dazzle, contemplative meandering and goofy conversations that are, collectively, the Cornerstone Festival. As usual, I didn't listen to any of the bands.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Coming up with zombie jokes on a very tight deadline. Dave Canfield shows up at the Speakers Hospitality Trailer about thirty minutes before he has to perform as The Undead Comic and says, "Zombie jokes! I need zombie jokes!" My contribution: Why did the zombie dog cross the road? Answer: Brains! (You then proceed to ask other very familiar jokes with zombies clumsily inserted. The punchline is always "Brains!")

Hearing that a very smart little girl has read The Magic Eightball Test: A Christian Defense of Halloween and All Things Spooky about thirty times and uses it to defend her love of Harry Potter books.

Paul Leggett explaining how horror lit was censored during the Fifties to such a degree that The Hound of the Baskervilles went out of print. Sherlock Holmes? Out of print? Back then, Paul was a kid who spent several years asking "Do you by chance have The Hound of the Baskervilles?" in every bookstore he could find. Now he has a collection of Hound of the Baskervilles editions from various countries. In your face, Fifties!

Mike Hertenstein's wistful observations regarding the conflict between "no place like home" and "over the rainbow" / "the real world" and "Shangri-La" / "Pottersville" and "Bedford Falls". I missed the second session. From what I hear Mike was working in his theories about Apollo and Dionysus, but wasn't finished theorizing yet. I am hoping he will keep at it. History has taught me to steer clear of the Dionysian, but Mike may bring me around.

Having the annual conversation about how we need to collect these Imaginarium seminars in a book so they don't go to waste. Let's do this thang!

John Morehead's "damn the torpedoes" approach to his seminar on contextualization, syncretism and missiology. John has moved from a Kingdom of the Cults approach -- "You're a cult member! Now hold still while I tell you all about it." -- to a Neighboring Faiths approach -- "You like french fries. I like french fries. Come, let us reason together you and I." Contextualization is simply working out the most effective context for communication, given that you are bringing the Gospel to a different culture. This involves learning indigenous customs, manners, symbols, etc. not merely to "spin" the Gospel in the guise of that culture, but to draw upon truths in that culture which correspond to truths in Christian theology. A genuine conversation with the culture, not camouflage. St. Paul's Mars Hill encounter with Greek philosophers is, of course, a perfect example.

Asking around to see if mass was held on-site and finding that, though everyone was sure there was one, nobody had any idea where or when. So I ended up rushing from my session at 4pm Saturday to get to the Transportation Tent, hopping a van, convincing the driver to take me into Macomb, going to 5:15 pm mass, then walking back to the hotel. Worn out, I missed saying goodbye to everyone, as well as the Imaginarium showing of Robot Monster. Boo freakin' hoo! If they ask me back again next year, I really have to get the logistics worked out ahead of time. Saw a family of raccoons though.

Eating vegetarian food. Very yummy. I never would have believed it.

Kim Paffenroth's seminars on All Things Zombie. Kim is coming at this as a recent convert to horror movie fandom. He was an academic before he became a fan. And so far his exploration of monstermovieness has focused on zombie fliks. Which makes for a lot of very interesting insights, such as comparing Romero's films to different "bolgias" of Dante's inferno. I am in the process of reading his book on the subject, Gospel of the Living Dead: George Romero's Visions of Hell on Earth. And Mr. Paffenroth's zombie apocalypse novel--ambitious fellow, ain't he?--is coming up next. Or maybe I'll switch and read the novel first. Anyhow, the novel is titled Dying to Live. Also, apparently the popularity of zombies has not abated. Kim's sessions were packed wall to wall, shambling room only.

Dealing with piddly turn-out for Imaginarium sessions not related to zombies. I think we need to advertise around the festival grounds with little postcards or posters or something. Or somehow connect every seminar with zombies. "Six degrees of separation from zombie Kevin Bacon." That sort of thing.

Telling people what my seminar was about. People ask "What are you speaking on?" And I answer "Kitsch." And they stare at me. More staring. I can read their minds. They are thinking "Has he got a fur ball stuck in his throat?" I repeat "Kitsch!" They think "He definitely has a fur ball caught in his throat."

Seeing a little of what goes on in the Flickerings zone of the festival. Got to watch most of a movie called Train_man: Densha Otoko. A comedy about geek love in Japan. Highly recommended.

The Atlanta airport wanting 8 bucks to let you on their wi-fi! 8 bucks!

Feeling sad that my family wasn't there! The kids really enjoy Dave's S.T.A.K.E. meetings (Society for the Termination of All Kinds of Evil -- I think). I really enjoy the kids. Plus, it's fun when Susan hangs out in the Speaker Hospitality Trailer.

Scratching my head in amazement during the Imaginarium Talent Show. We had yo-y0 tricks, a real live opera singer dude, Dave as The Undead Comic ("Brains!"), more yo-yo tricks, a guy doing an At the Dentist's Office routine from a Bill Cosby album, a girl reciting funny lines from real live people at her real live job at Fazoli's ("Like, you know that movie where that woman gets possessed when she wakes up at exactly 3 o'clock at night? You guys! I woke up at 3 o'clock last night! Do you think I'm possessed? I mean, like, maybe the demons are taking their time!"), more yo-yo tricks, and a fellow who sang the entirety of "Bohemian Rhapsody" with mucho audience participation. And some yo-yo tricks.

Reciting I Corinthians 1:27 in my Bela Lugosi voice during my seminar. (Starts slow -- "God-duh chowse de foooolish tings ov dee verld"-- then builds to a spittle producing teeth gnashing rendition of "and de DESPISED tings!")

I'll be recording the sessions as ghidorah podcasts. So stay tuned!

Kitsch!